Clinics Gifts

Sperm Bank, the bank that likes to say yes... yes!... YES!

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Psychiatric convention"

Doctor and nurse having a chat.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"You have natural causes.''

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

"You have twenty eight days to live."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

"He seems to have done a complete turnaround."

Fat Reduction Clinic.

"Tick, tick, tick..."

'Who was that masked man?'

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

"A web search reveals that you've been consulting other doctors."