Clinic Gifts

'I have the treatment all figured out. It's the diagnosis that stumps me.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

"Psychiatric convention"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Doctor and nurse having a chat.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

"You have natural causes.''

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

"You have twenty eight days to live."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

"He seems to have done a complete turnaround."

DOH, NHS and GP

'Who was that masked man?'

"Tick, tick, tick..."

Fat Reduction Clinic.

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.