Clinic Comic Gifts

'I demand a second opinion!'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Welcome to the walk-in clinic. The special is cholesterol screening and the catch of the day is whooping cough."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Orthopaedist

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

Golf cart in the hospital.

"Tick, tick, tick..."

'For Valentine's Day!'

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."