Clinic Antics Gifts

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

"Tick, tick, tick..."

'Fear not, Madam! I've never lost a case of this kind in this hospital!...

(Visual gag) GIVE YOLK Eggs at a give yolk clinic

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"It's weeder's elbow."

'I demand a second opinion!'

You have a low grade fever.

"A web search reveals that you've been consulting other doctors."

'We want to have him fixed, Doctor!'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

"He did it again. Slipped out and replaced himself with a bunch of lumpy pillows."

"I can't imagine her diabetes is affecting her body any worse than her sense of style is."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"Your husband suffers from SADD. Spousal Attention Deficit Disorder."

"It never ceases to amaze me what little brains people have."