Clinic Chuckler Gifts

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

Waiting In Doctor's Office

"It's weeder's elbow."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"The cookies are always stale."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"You think I'm a loose canon, Don't you."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

'Your hospital bill is $8437.00, plus $350.00 for not wearing clean underwear when you were brought in.'

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

'It's not a slip and it's supposed to be showing.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

'Your dog's paper trained too, huh?'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

'I gave at the office.'

"It's bad enough we males have to sit on the eggs, but now I'm even starting to have hot flashes!"

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

'Look over there. That's the crazy balloon animal lady!'