Clinic Chuckler Pillows

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

Waiting In Doctor's Office

"It's weeder's elbow."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"The cookies are always stale."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Keyboard in Heaven

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"You think I'm a loose canon, Don't you."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

'Your hospital bill is $8437.00, plus $350.00 for not wearing clean underwear when you were brought in.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'It's not a slip and it's supposed to be showing.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

'Your dog's paper trained too, huh?'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

'I gave at the office.'

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

'Look over there. That's the crazy balloon animal lady!'