Therapeutic Chuckler Gifts

'Your dog's paper trained too, huh?'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"The cookies are always stale."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Various Birds of Pray.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"It's weeder's elbow."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"Our charity would appreciate a donation, but I am not willing to fight you for it."

'Now take a deep breath and visualize your client being acquitted.'

"So I took a little nap - what kind of malpractice is taking a little nap?"

"Will you help me round up my 38 sheep?" Yes, 40.

Waiting In Doctor's Office

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

'I gave at the office.'

'I'm afraid your body is rejecting the transplant...'

'There's nothing wrong with you - your attache really is a nag.'

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

"That's a GOOD BOY! Now let's go home."