Charitable Chuckler Gifts

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Various Birds of Pray.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Missing Parsons.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"Seats in all parts!"

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

Church: Built by Guilt.

Ecclesiastical Eye Test