Charitable Chuckler Pillows

"The preceding PBS program was funded by do-gooders...not by freeloaders like yourself."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Various Birds of Pray.

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"...lettuce pray."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Seats in all parts!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Missing Parsons.

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

Church: Built by Guilt.