Clinic Visitor Chuckler Gifts

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

The New Age Dentist.

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Doctor Smith your 12:30 pain in the neck is here."

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

'What's your husband's intolerance ?'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

Vending Machine in Alternative Medicine Clinic

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"We try to diversify."

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'We don't have a treadmill, so the stress test here is waiting two hours to see a doctor.'

"And if you'll kindly relax your spinchter I'll be happy to write a prescription for that inflamed prostate."

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

Waiting In Doctor's Office

Claustrophobia clinic.

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

'I'm afraid your body is rejecting the transplant...'

"You've been playing with the controls, haven't you. . .?"