Doctor-in-training Chuckler Gifts

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Medical Cabinet

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'I had this two years ago.'

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

"He's losing his will to pay!"

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Everytime he sticks his finger down his throat, he tells a joke."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

'Take that back! - Gynecologists aren't EITHER sissies!'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

'The target most GPs are looking for is one that gets rid of QOF targets.'

I brought two #1 pencils.