Doctor-in-training Chuckler Prints

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Medical Cabinet

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

'I had this two years ago.'

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"He's losing his will to pay!"

"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'The target most GPs are looking for is one that gets rid of QOF targets.'

'On days when the stock market suffers sharp losses... it's best not to mention in recovery.'

I brought two #1 pencils.

'Take that back! - Gynecologists aren't EITHER sissies!'