Climate Realist Gifts

"The fear of sea level rise has been good for our business."

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"We'll always have Paris..."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

The New Normal

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Polar Bear at the Ice Machine

Deforestation.

Is it me or are we getting a lot more wind lately?

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Sea Change.

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2019

"The Little Dutch Boy, 2024"

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

'These are preliminary results, but there seems to be a correlation between global warming and baby boomer women's hot flashes.'

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Contradictory Phil

Arctic 2050.

A Random Survey: How do you deal with the U.N. report on climate change that forecasts a planetary living hell by as early as 2040?

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."