Climate Thinker Gifts

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"I think we have run out of time..."

Winter Weather.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

How Glaciations Begin

'The environmental impact study is quite alarming, and this might just be the tip of the iceberg.'

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

Global Warming.

'Look on the bright side: now we qualify for an energy-conservation award.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"We've had too much rain - they don't have enough - we'll sell our rain and make millions!"

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

'Sales meltdown...global warming...coincidence? I think not!'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"What do you mean you wouldn't sweat the water in the basement."

'This must be the effect of the climate change! Even the data cloud has started to rain!'

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"Have you noticed any global warming?"

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

Methane Emissions

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

"Scientists don't know anything. . . but we need to leave this to those more qualified. . . like scientists!"

'It looks like we might get some rain ahead.'

Planet Earth clean-up of man's pollution

'I know you don't want to admit you're old enough to be menopausal, but blaming your hot flashes on global warming...'

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"It's 40 degrees in Europe. Maybe we should take that Paris trip we always talk about, and get away from this oppressive heat."

"I doubt you'd understand what I do for a living, I'm a climate change scientist."

"I'm no scientist either, but I'd say we're in a whole lot of trouble."

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."