Climate Skeptic Gifts

"And to my nephew Scott, bold denier of climate change, I bequeath my north shore bungalow."

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

"Blasphemy. I don't believe in global warming."

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

'We can't have a centrally planned economy, but we can have a centrally planned ecology.'

Rush Linbaugh - Radio Commentator.

"I wonder how the experts can talk about increasing temperatures within years... the same experts who can't even do a reliable forecast for tomorrow..."

"So much for global warming!"

Scarcity

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

Global Warming.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'Sales meltdown...global warming...coincidence? I think not!'

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

'It looks like we might get some rain ahead.'

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Climate Change is a Hoax

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

"I refuse to be intimidated by climate alarmist!"

Greta's Scream (after Munch)

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

Carbon capture and storage

You're right. Winter in Florida sounds better every year.

'Eiter global warming is accelerating, or my Google map with climate information is malfunctioning.'