Climate Change Skeptic Gifts

'Once again, there is no conclusive evidence of climate change. From Fairbanks, Alaska, this is Joe Matthews reporting.'

"I told you the build-a-berg group was real."

"This climate change worries me. It's only the middle of April and it's already up to minus 20."

"Phyllis and I think this whole global warming thing is just a big crock!. . ."

"Look, I'm no scientist, and I may not know what 'consensus' means, but I think we should all start eating coal."

"I put all my money into swimsuit manufacturing stock and went bankrupt...can I sue myself for being stupid enough to believe in global warming?"

"The Chinese global warming hoax!"

"It's a coverup. Follow the money."

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'You're in denial.'

"Now that the climate change hysteria is over, I can just sit back and relax."

"Our climate denialists conference has been cancelled due to a typhoon warning."

"According to my calculations, the world's water level will not rise due to global warming!"

"What do THEY know. . . I'm the one with the big brain."

Climate Change is a Hoax

"I refuse to be intimidated by climate alarmist!"

Scarcity

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

The science doesn't prove global warming. Stop the fraud. So why save gas because bad things "might" happen in 50 years? Global warming is hot air. Because we're going broke importing oil from countries that hate us today? Lemme see our talking points. Global warming is hot air.

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

Greta's Scream (after Munch)

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'Eiter global warming is accelerating, or my Google map with climate information is malfunctioning.'

Carbon capture and storage

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

'Of course some species have responded better to global warming than others.'

Bigfoot Carbon Footprint.