Climate Conversationalist Gifts

"It seems like all we talk about anymore is the weather."

Comedy Club: Tonight's Topic, Global Warming.

'Is it just me, or are these summers getting hotter? '

'So has climate change accelerated the global meltdown?'

"Isn't it great how everyone's saying how air travel leaves a big carbon footprint? Now I can stop being depressed and instead feel self righteous about never being able to afford an exotic vacation!"

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"I think we have run out of time..."

Winter Weather.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

How Glaciations Begin

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

Keystone XL

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no-one hears it.".... "Then your illegal logging business is a success."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"It's 40 degrees in Europe. Maybe we should take that Paris trip we always talk about, and get away from this oppressive heat."

"Oh goodie, more snow! How frickin' original!!!"

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"It was around here we felt the force of el nino."

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"We're going to need more words for flip-flops."

'I don't know which one of you keeps turning up the air conditioning, but you'd better stop!'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Cover story: Weather Forecaster.

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

Intense summer sun

"Ha! I didn't become the mayor of Atlantis by listening to a bunch of pesky scientists."

'I love your bangs.'

"Considering the heat, cold button issues might be the way to go."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'