Nature Conversationalist Gifts

"Shh, listen! The sound of my voice."

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

Songs of the Summer.

"I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed."

Be prepared to listen to the opinions of other anglers....and to give them the benefit your own experience in return.

'I love your bangs.'

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

"Forgetting names is not a big issue for me: It's a bigger problem that I can no longer remember where I've hidden my food stashes..."

"Dunno...they all look the same to me..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Have you noticed any global warming?"

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

A lesson in wit

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'