Plant Conversationalist Gifts

'I see you've been talking to the plants again.'

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

The Busy Gardener

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Tree Passion

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!