Clever Competitor Gifts

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"All As. What did you get?"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Snail Racing

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

The Unsportables: Relay

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Skateboard Olympics.

A Man mixing up his sports.

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Tug the Toggle

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

"Foul!"

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

Interpretive marathon

Space Hopper Rodeo

Umbrella fight.