Cleanliness Vigilante Pillows

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

In the art gallery

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'My mom invented baths!'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

Medieval Torture

STRIP Animals getting revenge on tree cutter

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"Oh, Larry, you’ve got a tiny piece of kibble ri-i-ight there."

'Wash balls here.'

Ham Sanitizer

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working.'

"First."

Kangaroo helping pick up litter.

"I realize you like a clean floor, but I think one robotic vacuum should be enough."