Cleanliness Vigilante Gifts

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

In the art gallery

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'My mom invented baths!'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

Medieval Torture

STRIP Animals getting revenge on tree cutter

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

Business cartoon of video camera spying on 'anonymous tips' box.

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

"Oh, Larry, you’ve got a tiny piece of kibble ri-i-ight there."

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

Ham Sanitizer

"I did take off my muddy shoes, mom...these are my socks!"

Kangaroo helping pick up litter.

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working.'

"I realize you like a clean floor, but I think one robotic vacuum should be enough."

"First."

"It's a new trap we installed. It basically catches anyone who fails to wipe off the machine after using it."