Cleanliness Guardian Gifts

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

'We hope you understand that you're not worth risking on our new carpet, and your feet will smell if you take your shoes off.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

Solar Frankenstein

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Wembley Concert - Stop Global Warming

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"Let's face it Mum, the main reason we're an endangered species is that we're fussy eaters..."

In the art gallery

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

'You forgot the product label.'

'Now do you believe in climate change?'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Cleaning up space junk.

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

"Oh get over it. It's crocodile. We're alligators."

"Waiter, I'd like to have Black Rhino for dessert!"

'My mom invented baths!'

"Looks like you've got some competition."