Health Vigilante Pillows

Vaccinated Band-Aid

"Apparently you had a reaction to eating the food after the expiration date."

"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Covid Shield

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Hospital.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Ready or not, here I come!'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

Coronavirus dancing around an EU flag

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

Anti-Vaxer

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man rides on a vaccine in a sea of COVID-19 molecules.

GPs warn against New Year 'fad diets.'

"Okay, Okay... the vaccine has side effects, but at least social distancing is guaranteed."

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"Will he be okay?"

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Parenting Wonks

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

Flu Shot