Lane Etiquette Vigilante Pillows

Human Cull: People who do a slow breast stroke in the fast swimming lane.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Beware of God"

Nun confronts mugger.

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

"What happened to what cat?"

Covid Boarding Pass

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

Ace Towing.

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

'Since you're new here, let me give you a tip: Never, EVER, look under the chairs!'

'I thought putting it up there would deter ordinary folk from using it.' (Disabled Parking Space).

The Marks of Zorro

'You appreciate that you have just used a split infinitive!'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Masked intruder

Traffic avenger

'I'm moving your desk up here on the roof. That way you can keep an eye on my Cadillac in the parking lot.'

Rail UnFare Rise

At the school for Facebook trolls

"I feel a lot safer around here since your Grandad joined the Neighbourhood Watch!"

"Hey, jackass! Keep it down, you inconsiderate jerk! And stay safe and healthy during these difficult times!"

"If you cave COVID I'm going to kill you."

"I can't wait till somebody forgets to dim his headlights!"

Arnold had only himself to blame. He knew that trading in pirate videos was illegal.