Traffic Vigilante Pillows

'Just calling to let you know that driving while talking on a cell phone is illegal in this state.'

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Ace Towing.

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"Beware of God"

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

The Forever Stamp

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

'Driving without a flag?'

At the gallery of Fine Art.

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."