Traffic Vigilante Gifts

Digby's a former airline pilot--- he always looks three ways before crossing.

'Just calling to let you know that driving while talking on a cell phone is illegal in this state.'

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Ace Towing.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

"Beware of God"

The Forever Stamp

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"