Traffic Enforcer Gifts

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

Stop stopping here

Some people never have a problem finding parking.

Life in cities before towing ordinances were enacted.

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Street signs you don't want to see.

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"