Traffic Enforcer Gifts

Less Desirable Half-Women Half-Fish

Stop stopping here

Some people never have a problem finding parking.

Life in cities before towing ordinances were enacted.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'