Cleanliness Philosopher Gifts

"Today we'll be discussing the Universal Law that explains why if you leave a basket of clean laundry in the same place long enough it will eventually look as if it belongs there."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Biofelineism

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Dogs shaving

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

Wash your hands

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'