Cleanliness Comrade Gifts

Biofelineism

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Dogs shaving

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Wash your hands

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.