Cleanliness Conversationalist Gifts

"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"

Moses separating his Laundry.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Dogs shaving

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"I was wrong. Apparently, it wasn't our kids who used all my bubble bath."

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

In the art gallery

Spring Cleaning

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no-one hears it.".... "Then your illegal logging business is a success."

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

'Mom, I'm only late because you told me not to come in until I wipe my feet first.'

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"