Cleanliness Commentator Gifts

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'You poor man! -- you must be using the wrong detergent!'

Deodorant Hole. Cowboys discover a well-needed deodorant hole in the desert.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

Dogs shaving

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

In the art gallery

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

Spring Cleaning

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'