Clean Queen Gifts

Bride wearing medical gloves.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Bad hair day!

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Ladies

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

The household cavalry

Clubbing

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Well, I don't believe it Your room is spotless And in just 10 minutes,,,'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

If you've got it flaunt it!

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

"You guys going to help out or what?" "Nah." "Doubt it." "Tra... la... la... la... la..."