Clean Queen Pillows

Bride wearing medical gloves.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Bad hair day!

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Ladies

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

The household cavalry

Clubbing

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

If you've got it flaunt it!

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

"You guys going to help out or what?" "Nah." "Doubt it." "Tra... la... la... la... la..."

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'