Cosmetic Queen Gifts

Beauty Time

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

Ladies

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

Von Trapp family masks

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

'Botox so soon, Master?'