Cosmetic Queen Gifts

Beauty Time

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Ladies

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

A Manicure

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Let's check out our dress options for the eco prom. Excellent idea. Google "green prom dresses." I bet there are tons of ideas. You're right. Lime, kelly, forest

'I hate to ski. But I look so cute in the outfits!'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Von Trapp family masks

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'Botox so soon, Master?'