Beauty Queen Fun Gifts

The Misinformed Pageant - "The capital of Mexico is Mexico town..." "The duck is the largest flightless bird..." "Consuming buttered scones can lead to pregnancy."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Miss America IQ Pageant

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

A Manicure

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

The return of Miss Subways

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

Circus Pageant

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Artist asking a lady to sit for him

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

"Have you ever been young before?"