Beauty Queen Gone Wrong Gifts

"She tried to apply her press-on nails with an iron."

Lady of the Cake.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

A Manicure

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Outré or simply bad?"

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Chef Cake Topper

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

The return of Miss Subways

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'Finally. Her lipstick is just right.'

'After having the botox injections in my lips I can handle really hot coffee.'

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Mary Christmas preparing for her big night out.

"Your mom really puts herself into her work, doesn't she?"

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

Classical Beauty: "My secret is to eat lots of olive-skinned men."

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

'I know exactly what you mean...men are such hot heads!'

Unnecessary Surgery

'Ok, ok... I'm coming but with all those CCTV camera about I like to look my best.'

'Botox you fool! not buttocks!'

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'

'Look! Mum's furious at the cost of her botox treatment'

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

Medusa's Greatest Fear

"Life's a bleach, and then you dye..."

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"

Miss America IQ pageant.

Headline: Miss World moved to London - 'Why so much fuss about a woman getting stoned?'