Botched Beauty Enthusiast Gifts

"The bad news is, x-rays show I botched your face lift ... the good news is I'm not going to charge you."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Hair spray"

New Twenty Blades

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet