Botched Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

"The bad news is, x-rays show I botched your face lift ... the good news is I'm not going to charge you."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"More concealer?"

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet