Beauty Banter Enthusiast Pillows

'So, on the face of it, what's your verdict?' (husband to wife's beautician).

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"Hair spray"

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

New Twenty Blades

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Rape of the Lock- The Toilet

"More concealer?"

'Botox...'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."