Beauty Banter Enthusiast Pillows

'So, on the face of it, what's your verdict?' (husband to wife's beautician).

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"Hair spray"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

New Twenty Blades

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.