Bottled Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

Man imagines his pregnant partner as an impossible bottle.

Bad hair day!

Shampoo.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

New Twenty Blades

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Desert Dermatologist

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'Botox...'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"More concealer?"