Bottled Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

Man imagines his pregnant partner as an impossible bottle.

Bad hair day!

Shampoo.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Desert Dermatologist

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

New Twenty Blades

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."