Plastic Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

"What's new?... For starters, most of my wife."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Hair spray"

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"More concealer?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

A cow with a Brazilian.

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.