Plastic Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

"What's new?... For starters, most of my wife."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Hair spray"

New Twenty Blades

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Mirror mirror...

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"More concealer?"

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."