Clean-freak Conqueror Gifts

"She sits there unsuspectingly as the dust bunny lurks nearby...he he he."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

What My Day Feels Like

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Mom is making us clean out our rooms, but she'll get you next.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Hand sanitizer

"Not guilty?"

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Wash your hands

TV and cleaner

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Car wash / Mouth wash

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.