Clean-freak Conqueror Gifts

"She sits there unsuspectingly as the dust bunny lurks nearby...he he he."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

What My Day Feels Like

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'Mom is making us clean out our rooms, but she'll get you next.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Hand sanitizer

"Not guilty?"

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

TV and cleaner

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

Wash your hands

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Car wash / Mouth wash

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

'It's like all I do is pick up after him.'

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Soap Versus Coronavirus

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"