Clean Beauty Advocate Pillows

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Queen Kong

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

In the art gallery

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

The return of Miss Subways

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'Single-use' - Word of the year 2018

The Messy Sink

'My mom invented baths!'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

Animal cosmetic testing

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Medieval Torture

'Why's that girl got weird brown hair?'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"

Irregular Fruits and Veggies: "It's our inner beauty that counts..."

Ham Sanitizer

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"

"You can tell he's not a stray. He picks up after himself."

"Oh, Larry, you’ve got a tiny piece of kibble ri-i-ight there."