Natural Beauty Advocate Pillows

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

Like a Natural Woman

Have you got your make up on yet?

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

New Twenty Blades

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"More concealer?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

'Botox...'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

A cow with a Brazilian.

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

If you've got it flaunt it!

'And you thought that you had all the talent.'

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'