Natural Beauty Advocates Pillows

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Have you got your make up on yet?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

New Twenty Blades

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'Botox...'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"More concealer?"

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

A cow with a Brazilian.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'And you thought that you had all the talent.'

If you've got it flaunt it!