Classroom Raconteur Gifts

"What I did on my summer vacation and how I optioned it to Miramax..."

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'But I digress...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Big Bang Theory.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'A dog ate my homework.'