Classroom Craver Gifts

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Global Education

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

Back to School

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

"I think he sometimes regrets hiring a former first grade teacher as his secretary."

Beginning of the school year

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

School boy

"But there are no naps in the first grade."

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

"No, you don't get incentive pay for Billy Vincent."

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."