Classroom Caper Lover Gifts

'Did I throw which spitball?'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

Student goes through home room sees his home.

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

"Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school."

"But playing computer games help my. . . uh. . . dexterity, so I can do my school work better!"

"That's my survival kit. It has a meditation tape, aspirin and rose-coloured glasses."

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

"People...do you FINALLY understand the concept of 'Visual Narrative?'"

A small clown sits at the back of a class room - 'Mr Jenkins, do you always have to be the class clown?!'

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

Bees arresting a honey bear.

'You waved a white flag?2

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

'Can I have a few minutes to defrag before I take the test?'

"On the plus side, he's a disruptor."