Classroom Comebacks Specialist Gifts

'Error Lesson plan needs clever retorts for class hecklers,'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"She's a high grade teacher."

"No, you can't ask Alexa a quick question. This is a test, so you're on your own."

Teacher's pet dog

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

Global Education

'...All profits are local.'

"I need you to line up by attention span."

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."